Archive for ‘Personal Growth and Development’

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September 29th, 2011

What’s the deal with all this FEAR?

So here we all are; creative, spirited beings, each endowed with our own unique set of skills and talents that are just waiting to be shared with the world yet we don’t do it! Instead, we hold back or hide what it is that only we can create and share. We choose each and every distraction that comes our way, create excuses for waiting and procrastinating and spin ourselves around in circles just so we won’t have to step out of the rabbit hole.

Why do we do this? Is it because we lack courage? The courage to step away from the herd, the courage to be different, to be bold, to open up and share who we really are, the courage to be seen, to be noticed, the courage to stand out?! Standing out means we may not only be noticed but also be talked about, even judged or critizised. Is it the fear of judgement that holds us back or is it something other than that? Is this fear even real? Is it the perceived enormity of the task or overall goal that holds us back? Does it feel too big, will it take too long or be too difficult? Do we feel we lack needed resources or that we do not have necessary skills?

Whatever the ‘story’ is, it is just that… a story! We can choose to step out of it and into a different story. All creative artists and entrepreneurs have had to get their boldness on and dare to step out and stand out! The very gifted singer, Adele admits she has stage fright right before going on stage, event to the point of having tried to escape from a venue and throwing up before a show. Still, she says; “the bigger the freak-out, the more I enjoy the show!”

So what’s the worst that can happen if you follow your dreams and decide to DO and BE everything you are meant to BE? How horrible would that really be? How wonderful would that be? What can you do to step above and beyond whatever it is that you’ve been allowing to hold you back? How about looking that fear or story of fear in the eye and see how ‘small’ it really is compared to be ‘bigness’ of you. Is it time for you to stand on your own stage? When will you go for it?! Working with a great life coach can help you get to where you want to BE and BE-ing who you want to BE. Are you ready to step up your game!?

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” -Ambrose Redmoon

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August 1st, 2011

What are YOU thinking??!!

There are sayings that start with; “blessed are the simple…” and whether they end with ’simple in heart’ or ’simple in mind’ there is great truth in those words. It seems that the people who suffer the most are not necessarily the ones who are living in the poorest of situations but the ones who THINK the most.

It so happens that we have this neat, little organ in our heads that we call our brain and it really, truly likes to think! Which in principle is perfect for that is exactly what it is designed to do. Our brain does its job so well that it can even do it without noticing what it is doing and without seeing its job as ‘a job’. Our brain is continually scanning, reading and interpreting whatever reaches its way through the stimuli’s of sight, sound, touch and smell.

The glitch in this otherwise perfectly designed system is that it is so perfect in fact that we often may not know how to use it. Instead of us using our brain as the clever and productive organ that it is, we end up finding ourselves being ‘used by our brains’. If we buy into, believe and react to every whimsical notion that will inevitably be produced by this amazing organ, we will be nothing more than slaves to our creative minds. But, why worry about that! “Worry is a misuse of the imagination”.

Instead, it may be time to fundamentally examine where your thoughts are coming from. Even the simplest of thoughts come from somewhere. Our sensors are influenced by our own unique perspectives or the filter from which we in essence view our lives from. Our perspectives are based on our past experiences and it seems accurate to state that none of us have had the same exact life experiences. We are born into different countries, cultures, families, values, and beliefs and in effect have quite a few filters through which we are taught to view the world. So who is to say that your specific perspective is the absolute true perspective? Is it possible that your brain plays many tricks on you?

Over-thinking, over-analyzing, and over-identifying with your thoughts will only lead to unhappiness. If you did not have the thoughts you have now, how would you be feeling differently? Could it be that everything in your life is really perfect and wonderful but your filter is flawed and blurry?

Byron Katie says; “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.”

Byron Katie’s famous teachings called “The Work” asks people to examine limiting thoughts by asking the following four questions:

1. Is it true? (That is the ‘thought’ or the ‘belief’? If the answer is “No,” move to #3)
2. Can you absolutely know (for certain) that it’s true?
3. How do you react, and what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you BE without the thought? (How would NOT having this thought feel?)
Turn the thought around. (Restate the thought by turning it around such as “My mother doesn’t love me” to “My mother loves me” or even to “I don’t love me”)
Find three genuine examples of how the turnaround is as true or truer in your life.
Can you find other turnarounds?
How are these turnarounds true in your life?
Give examples.

Byron Katie’s “The Work” is actually a very simple, yet effective way of examining your thoughts and limiting beliefs. If you want more information about The Work you can visit www.TheWork.com. For a free excerpt from her book The Work you can click here.

So what are YOU really, truly thinking??!!

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February 15th, 2011

Are you a Victim or an Owner of your LIFE?

It is said that people fall into one of two categories when it comes to their approach to LIFE. You can either be a Victim or an Owner.

Many great authors have written several books on this topic, one being Steve Chandler.

So how do you spot an Owner and/or a Victim? And which category do you fall into?

Here are some clear distinctions between victims and owners:

  • Victims take no responsibility while Owners take full responsibility for their happiness and success in life.
  • Victims like to tell you their sad stories but Owners focus on success stories.
  • Victims talk about what happened to them in life and how that “made” them feel … Owners may tell you about their life experiences to emphasize what they’ve learned.
  • Victims complain and complain, and usually complain some more … Owners learn, and learn and learn some more.
  • Victims believe other people have control or are in control of their lives but Owners know they are in FULL control of theirs.
  • Victims are generally unhappy with where they are and how their lives are progressing but Owners are happy with where they are and where they’re headed.
  • Victims can make up and have many excuses for where, why and how they are while Owners do not use or buy into excuses.
  • Victims focus on all the things that can, and probably will go wrong… so why bother trying … while Owners focus on creative steps and solutions.
  • Victims REACT to whatever comes along, Owners use what happens to CREATE some more.
  • Victims come from a place of FEAR! … Owners come from a place of LOVE.

What is your choice? Fear or Love?

Posted in Personal Growth and Development, Relationships | 1 Comment »

November 20th, 2010

Hitting the START-button!

You might say that I have been in a bit of a funk lately… I have not been feeling very inspired as for what to write about. A writer’s block sounds odd to someone like me, who usually has a harder time shutting my brain off and my mouth up!

Then it hit me… stop waiting around for inspiration to hit you and just friggin’ START!

So here it is… a little experiment on this START-ing theory since at this starting point, I only have the vaguest idea of what it is that I am meant to share today…

I wonder how many things people put off because they are just not “feeling it” at the moment or feeling they do not yet have what it takes to get something done. How much time and effort is spent on gathering resources, doing research, reading books, and searching for inspiration and motivation when all that is really required is the simple effort of beginning?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”… the only real effort towards propelling yourself forward in life and in creating anything really, whatever that may be… is choosing to hit your own START button! Who cares if you do not exactly know where you are going? Who cares if you do not have the perfect roadmap, the exact plan, a thorough outline, or the final blueprint? Even the perfect plan was imperfect in the beginning, starting with a single line or a sentence; perhaps a statement of a dream!

I have learned that all successful people have one thing in common; they value active CREATION over active imagination… So they do not just sit around and think things over and over… they actually act on their ideas! Even when they have no idea on how to actually get something finished. If you do not start somewhere, you are essentially going nowhere… Sometimes it is just about starting, letting go and trusting your inner roadmap.

Within all of us lies the roadmap that takes us to our dreams.

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Posted in Designing ME, LIFE, MIND, MY Life, Personal Growth and Development, Tools and Techniques | 1 Comment »

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October 18th, 2010

Be Creative and old habits will start falling like dead leaves…

These are the only two situations possible, and you are in the sad situation. Everybody may know about you — who you are — but you yourself are completely oblivious of your transcendence, of your real nature, of your authentic being. This is the only sadness in life. You can find many excuses, but the real sadness is this: you don’t know who you are. How can a person be happy not knowing who he is, not knowing from where he comes, not knowing where he is going? A thousand and one problems arise because of this basic self-ignorance.

People go on repeating the same thing, again and again. If you look at the faces of people in the world, you will be surprised: why do all these people look so sad? Why do their eyes look as if they have lost all hope? The reason is simple; the reason is repetition. Man is intelligent; repetition creates boredom. Boredom brings a sadness because one knows what is going to happen tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow… until one goes into the grave, it will be the same, the same story.

Be creative, and the more creative you are, the more rejoicing, the more dancing, the more songful your aloneness becomes. Those periods of sadness, of grumpiness — old habits — will start falling like dead leaves falling from the trees. They also cling for a little while, but they have to fall.

Osho

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September 20th, 2010

There’s always MORE…

‘MORE’ from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

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July 12th, 2010

Levels of Consciousness

Anyone can travel the path towards enlightenment. It can be as easy as a decision. Enlightenment is not something that is reserved to a special few or to the extraordinarily intelligent and wise. We are all powerful beings, gifted with countless opportunities and the ability to make countless choices. Why not choose to practice stillness and transcend our spirits to higher levels of consciousness? Life in modern day society can be pretty chaotic and hectic yet within all of that hustle and bustle rests the still and present YOU, quietly observing it’s Ego Self that may be caught in lower levels of consciousness than your actual Real Self. You may not achieve enlightenment in an instant (although I’ve heard it’s possible) but you can lift your spirit up a few levels when you choose to be still and notice.

The levels of consciousness are sometimes referred to as (and in the order as follows); shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace, and enlightenment.

Where is your consciousness resting in this very moment? And, where would you like it to be? Where are you choosing to go from here?


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June 28th, 2010

Create a New YOU by letting go!

Life is not as much about finding yourself as it is about creating yourself!

When we want to “find” ourselves we electively embark upon a personal growth journey and push ourselves out of our shells, continually trying out new things, exploring the world and ourselves in it and incrementally we grow by expanding our comfort zones. This is how we learn that we can be bigger, better and happier than we previously thought possible. It is a given that pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone can be quite intimidating at first, otherwise it wouldn’t be called a “comfort zone” now would it? But, anything worth achieving is quite often very scary at first.

People who hold onto their fears and always choose to “play it safe” simply do not grow (at least not electively so). They merely respond and react to whatever life brings along and for the most part try as hard as they possibly can to stay exactly where they are at. Which will bring more fear and unhappiness to their lives since the only thing given in life is that everything evolves and changes… always! Plus, “playing it safe” and resisting change doesn’t sound like a recipe for a fun life now does it?

So the question is; Who are YOU really when you’re not holding back?

The answer to this question applies to any and all areas of our lives. What could you create and what kind of relationships would you have if you did not care about what other’s thought of you, if you were not concerned about being judged or about receiving someone’s approval. I ask myself those same exact questions when that little doubtful voice wants to pop up, the one I call “little me”. What if you always lived, acted and created as the “BIG ME”? So who is the “BIG” YOU? Who would you BE if you weren’t trying to hold onto what you know and what feels safe and comfortable? Is it possible that you’d be more YOU? Utterly amazing, wonderful, laid back, joyful, fun-loving, creative and carefree YOU!

If you feel its time to Create a New YOU, you can start by letting go of all the made up inhibitions that no longer serve you. Who are YOU when you are not attached to The Story of You? Who are you when you let go of the need for other people’s approval?

If you let go a little, you will be happy a little. If you let go a lot, you will be happy a lot. But, if you let go completely… you will be FREE!

Have fun letting go… :)

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June 10th, 2010

Are you the most vibrant, creative and fulfilled YOU imaginable?

Are you the most vibrant, creative and fulfilled YOU imaginable?

If so, more POWER to YOU! You got it, and you’ve apparently got the whole point of not even trying to GET IT! Whatever IT may be! If you’re not quite there yet… by all means, read on…

Vibrancy, creativity and fulfillment cannot be ‘found’ outside of you. There is nothing in this world that can make you feel any of those feelings, no praise, no glory, no money and no power can give you complete fulfillment. But, creativity can…

Creativity is the expression of your soul. It is through creative being and doing that we feel connected to Greatness and we connect with a higher sense of Being. So, how do we know if we’re being creative? Creativity is not something we can exactly plan, seek or capture. Creativity is something that simply happens yet only when we allow it to happen. It is the state you’re in when you feel like you’re in “the flow” or “in the zone” and whatever you’re being and doing is somehow being created from your soul’s core. Everyday “rules” seize to exist, there is no absolute right or wrong when it comes to creativity, there simply IS. You’re at the essence of your being, creating what you came here to create, giving your gift to the world, even if it’s only to yourself or to one other being. When we’re being creative, we feel vibrant and alive and we are nourished by a source greater than anything found in the physical world, giving us a tremendous sense of fulfillment. When we’re in ‘the zone’ of creativity time tends to become abstract, and we forget about our worries and may even ‘forget’ thirst and hunger altogether. We are simply BE-ing.

We’re all created in the image of the Creator, meaning we’re created to create! Whatever your creative outlet may be; dancing, reading, researching, learning, teaching, nurturing, painting, singing, acting, writing, composing, designing, assembling, building and so on, this is the essence of you, and what you’re here to do, but most importantly here to BE.

When we connect with our inborn creativity everything makes sense, even when it doesn’t. We’re connected to something greater than ourselves. We’re on purpose; we’re expressing and sharing our true selves. The greatest gift we can give to ourselves is time devoted to being creative, and let whatever wants to come out – come out!

So are you connected with your most vibrant, creative and fulfilled self? Is it time to make room for more CREATIVITY in YOUR life?

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June 6th, 2010

Where can one always find happiness?

The following is an excerpt from Sufis The People of the Path, Vol 1 # 10/
courtesy Osho International Foundation/www.osho.com

Where can one always find happiness?

“See the dictionary under the letter ‘h’ — only there will you always find happiness. In life things are very mixed up. Day and night are together, so are happiness and unhappiness. Life and death are together, so is everything. Life is rich because of polar opposites. The very idea that one would like to be happy forever is stupid. the very idea will create only unhappiness and nothing else. You will become more and more miserable because more and more you will be missing your so-called eternal happiness. Your greed is too much.
Then who is the happy person? The happy person is not one who is always happy. The happy person is one who is happy even when there is unhappiness. Try to understand it. The happy person is one who understands life and accepts its polarities. He knows success is possible only because failure is also possible. So when failure comes he accepts it.
I remember one incident of my childhood. A great wrestler had come to my town. Everybody was very interested in wrestling, so the whole town had gathered. I have seen many people and many wrestlers in my life but he was really rare. He had something of Zen in him.
For ten days the wrestling continued, and every day he defeated a famous wrestler. Finally he was declared to be the winner. The day he was declared to be the winner he went around and touched the feet of all the ten persons whom he had defeated.
Everybody was puzzled about why he did it. I was a small child, I went to him and I asked him, ‘Why did you do that? This is strange.’
He said, ‘It is only because of them that I am victorious. If they had not allowed themselves to be defeated, I would not be victorious. So I owe it to them. My victory depends on their defeat, so really I feel greatly thankful to them. There was only one possibility: either I was to be defeated or they were to be defeated. And they are good people, they accepted defeat.’
This is a very Sufi or Zen idea. Things are interdependent: failure/success, happiness/unhappiness, summer/winter, youth/old age, beauty/ugliness — all are interdependent, they exist together. And the man who starts seeking one pole against the other pole is getting into unnecessary trouble. It is not possible, he is desiring the impossible; and he will get very frustrated.
Then what should the attitude be? When happiness comes, enjoy happiness; when unhappiness comes, enjoy unhappiness. When there is happiness, dance with it; when there is unhappiness, cry with it. That’s what I mean when I say ‘Enjoy’. Unhappiness is a must. If you can accept unhappiness as smoothly as you welcome happiness, you will transcend both. In that very acceptance is transcendence. Then unhappiness and happiness will not make much difference to you, you will remain the same. When there is sadness you will have a taste of it; and when there is joy you will have a taste of it. And sometimes bitter things also taste beautiful.
And sadness has something of depth in it which no happiness can ever have. Happiness has something shallow. Laughter always looks shallow, tears always look deep. If you want to be happy always you will become a shallow person, a superficial person. Sometimes it is good to fall into the depths, dark depths, dismal depths of sadness. Both are good. And one should be total in both. Whatsoever happens, go totally into it. When crying, become the crying, and when dancing, become the dance. Then the ultimate happens to you. By and by you forget the distinction between what happiness is and what unhappiness is. You enjoy both! So by and by the distinction disappears. And when the distinction has disappeared, there arises something which is eternally there, which remains always there. That is witnessing.”

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