Archive for ‘Tools and Techniques’

August 1st, 2011

What are YOU thinking??!!

There are sayings that start with; “blessed are the simple…” and whether they end with ’simple in heart’ or ’simple in mind’ there is great truth in those words. It seems that the people who suffer the most are not necessarily the ones who are living in the poorest of situations but the ones who THINK the most.

It so happens that we have this neat, little organ in our heads that we call our brain and it really, truly likes to think! Which in principle is perfect for that is exactly what it is designed to do. Our brain does its job so well that it can even do it without noticing what it is doing and without seeing its job as ‘a job’. Our brain is continually scanning, reading and interpreting whatever reaches its way through the stimuli’s of sight, sound, touch and smell.

The glitch in this otherwise perfectly designed system is that it is so perfect in fact that we often may not know how to use it. Instead of us using our brain as the clever and productive organ that it is, we end up finding ourselves being ‘used by our brains’. If we buy into, believe and react to every whimsical notion that will inevitably be produced by this amazing organ, we will be nothing more than slaves to our creative minds. But, why worry about that! “Worry is a misuse of the imagination”.

Instead, it may be time to fundamentally examine where your thoughts are coming from. Even the simplest of thoughts come from somewhere. Our sensors are influenced by our own unique perspectives or the filter from which we in essence view our lives from. Our perspectives are based on our past experiences and it seems accurate to state that none of us have had the same exact life experiences. We are born into different countries, cultures, families, values, and beliefs and in effect have quite a few filters through which we are taught to view the world. So who is to say that your specific perspective is the absolute true perspective? Is it possible that your brain plays many tricks on you?

Over-thinking, over-analyzing, and over-identifying with your thoughts will only lead to unhappiness. If you did not have the thoughts you have now, how would you be feeling differently? Could it be that everything in your life is really perfect and wonderful but your filter is flawed and blurry?

Byron Katie says; “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.”

Byron Katie’s famous teachings called “The Work” asks people to examine limiting thoughts by asking the following four questions:

1. Is it true? (That is the ‘thought’ or the ‘belief’? If the answer is “No,” move to #3)
2. Can you absolutely know (for certain) that it’s true?
3. How do you react, and what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you BE without the thought? (How would NOT having this thought feel?)
Turn the thought around. (Restate the thought by turning it around such as “My mother doesn’t love me” to “My mother loves me” or even to “I don’t love me”)
Find three genuine examples of how the turnaround is as true or truer in your life.
Can you find other turnarounds?
How are these turnarounds true in your life?
Give examples.

Byron Katie’s “The Work” is actually a very simple, yet effective way of examining your thoughts and limiting beliefs. If you want more information about The Work you can visit www.TheWork.com. For a free excerpt from her book The Work you can click here.

So what are YOU really, truly thinking??!!

March 15th, 2011

What do you want to create today?

We all have dreams, plans and aspirations yet sometimes have a tendency to forget, in the hustle and bustle of every day living, that each and ever day is a gift threaded with the opportunity to create our future.  Who we are and what we do creates the life we live.  So who do you have to BE today and what do you want to DO to HAVE the life you wish to live?  As all good things tend to take some time and effort to manifest an important question to ask ourselves each and every day is; “What do I want to create today?”  Instead of becoming wrapped up in the ‘small’ things or overwhelmed by the ‘big’ things when we have a clear focus of what The Dream is we can break our dreams down into manageable components and incrementally create what we desire.  The life most of us want to HAVE is simply BE-ing who we truly are and DO-ing what we truly enjoy doing.  So how can this day, today, be used to create the future you desire?  What changes can you make today? What relationships can you build today and what actions can you DO today?  The present moment is the only moment you have full control over.  With a present state of mind, clear focus and genuine intent of creating “The Dream” you can manifest anything you desire.  It all starts today!

November 30th, 2010

Simplify your surroundings, simplify your life!

As a business owner, creative entrepreneur, wife and mother, I am intrigued by all methods and tools that help me, as well as my clients in living our authentic lives in balance and harmony.

I am all for mindfulness, living in the now, and enjoying life to the fullest, but let’s face it; everyday life in a busy world requires much more than the act of being present. Whether we like it or not we all have to think about our future, and plan it to some extent. Waking up, getting dressed, preparing meals, raising our children, cleaning the house, doing laundry, paying the bills, shopping for necessities, exercising, going to work, having a productive day, responding to our clients, and creating the groundwork for our next step in life and in business…. well, all this and more involves future-minded planning efforts.

As much as I love being in a simplified, clean, calm and organized home, getting it to that point, meaning the cleaning and tidying part, is not exactly on my top ten list of favorite things to do. I would not exactly label myself as a ‘domestic goddess’ and I would much rather be fully calm and present with a great book or even sit in front of the computer doing research, communicating with others, or writing about whatever, or simply goofing off and having fun with my kids, hiking, dancing and singing. But, since all those pleasantly creative and leisurely activities do not provide me with the surroundings I love living and creating in, I consciously choose to get off my butt every now and again and get to work on creating the environment of my dreams!

Although, my ego sometimes dreads the thought of cleaning and organizing, once I am “on it” I can’t help but feel energized by the creative power that starts flowing through me and from me. Not to mention the bliss I get from getting to live in the results of my labor. A simple surrounding helps my overly active mind calm down and be present and I feel more energetic and creative which positively affects all areas of my life. So, every now and again, the ‘domestic goddess’ has to be called upon to whip things into shape!

A crucial component to finding balance and calm in your home or workspace is committing to simplicity. When our spaces are cluttered, our minds are cluttered and we are bombarded with stimulating reminders of the things we ‘should’ be doing or ‘should’ get to, making it hard to focus on whatever it is we are doing in the moment. Getting your surroundings simplified and organized can do more for your emotional well-being than a long relaxing trip to an exotic island because you are creating an environment that affects you in your everyday life, meaning every single day!

As an interior designer I have witnessed people completely transform as their surroundings get transformed. By simplifying your surroundings, you are destined to simplify your life!

Once you have a system in place the actual work of keeping it that way is not so hard, although definitely just as important. Getting your surroundings organized in the first place is the part that requires most of the planning and effort.

In case you are interested in embarking upon a simplification journey here is my personal 7 step model to tackling such a project:

November 20th, 2010

Hitting the START-button!

You might say that I have been in a bit of a funk lately… I have not been feeling very inspired as for what to write about. A writer’s block sounds odd to someone like me, who usually has a harder time shutting my brain off and my mouth up!

Then it hit me… stop waiting around for inspiration to hit you and just friggin’ START!

So here it is… a little experiment on this START-ing theory since at this starting point, I only have the vaguest idea of what it is that I am meant to share today…

I wonder how many things people put off because they are just not “feeling it” at the moment or feeling they do not yet have what it takes to get something done. How much time and effort is spent on gathering resources, doing research, reading books, and searching for inspiration and motivation when all that is really required is the simple effort of beginning?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”… the only real effort towards propelling yourself forward in life and in creating anything really, whatever that may be… is choosing to hit your own START button! Who cares if you do not exactly know where you are going? Who cares if you do not have the perfect roadmap, the exact plan, a thorough outline, or the final blueprint? Even the perfect plan was imperfect in the beginning, starting with a single line or a sentence; perhaps a statement of a dream!

I have learned that all successful people have one thing in common; they value active CREATION over active imagination… So they do not just sit around and think things over and over… they actually act on their ideas! Even when they have no idea on how to actually get something finished. If you do not start somewhere, you are essentially going nowhere… Sometimes it is just about starting, letting go and trusting your inner roadmap.

Within all of us lies the roadmap that takes us to our dreams.

June 28th, 2010

Create a New YOU by letting go!

Life is not as much about finding yourself as it is about creating yourself!

When we want to “find” ourselves we electively embark upon a personal growth journey and push ourselves out of our shells, continually trying out new things, exploring the world and ourselves in it and incrementally we grow by expanding our comfort zones. This is how we learn that we can be bigger, better and happier than we previously thought possible. It is a given that pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone can be quite intimidating at first, otherwise it wouldn’t be called a “comfort zone” now would it? But, anything worth achieving is quite often very scary at first.

People who hold onto their fears and always choose to “play it safe” simply do not grow (at least not electively so). They merely respond and react to whatever life brings along and for the most part try as hard as they possibly can to stay exactly where they are at. Which will bring more fear and unhappiness to their lives since the only thing given in life is that everything evolves and changes… always! Plus, “playing it safe” and resisting change doesn’t sound like a recipe for a fun life now does it?

So the question is; Who are YOU really when you’re not holding back?

The answer to this question applies to any and all areas of our lives. What could you create and what kind of relationships would you have if you did not care about what other’s thought of you, if you were not concerned about being judged or about receiving someone’s approval. I ask myself those same exact questions when that little doubtful voice wants to pop up, the one I call “little me”. What if you always lived, acted and created as the “BIG ME”? So who is the “BIG” YOU? Who would you BE if you weren’t trying to hold onto what you know and what feels safe and comfortable? Is it possible that you’d be more YOU? Utterly amazing, wonderful, laid back, joyful, fun-loving, creative and carefree YOU!

If you feel its time to Create a New YOU, you can start by letting go of all the made up inhibitions that no longer serve you. Who are YOU when you are not attached to The Story of You? Who are you when you let go of the need for other people’s approval?

If you let go a little, you will be happy a little. If you let go a lot, you will be happy a lot. But, if you let go completely… you will be FREE!

Have fun letting go… :)

May 24th, 2010

I am open, LOVING and thankful!

When you have an open, loving and thankful heart life is nothing short of perfect! Nothing really ticks you off that much and whatever occurs in your life you can handle because you know how to reconnect with love and recreate harmony and balance.

How open, loving and thankful are you in your heart?

Here are some questions for you to answer for yourself:

How open am I towards other people’s uniqueness and their differences from me and what I know?
• I am very open
• I am somewhat open
• I am a little open
• I am somewhat closed
• I am very closed.

How judgmental am I of other people?
• Very judgmental
• Somewhat judgmental
• A little judgmental
• Somewhat non-judgmental
• Very non-judgmental

How genuinely loving and affectionate am I towards other people?
• Very loving
• Quite loving
• A little loving
• Quite un-loving
• Very un-loving

How thankful am I for the people in my life and how expressive am I of gratitude towards them?
• I am very thankful / grateful
• I am quite thankful / grateful
• I am sometimes thankful / grateful
• I am quite unthankful / ungrateful
• I am very unthankful / ungrateful

The truth is that whenever you feel you are out of balance in your relationships with other people it is time for you to do something about YOU!

Our issues with other people have less to do with them than they have to do with ourselves. Are you lovingly asking for what you want and coming from a place of love in doing so? Do you feel that receiving other people’s love is based on fulfilling their conditions? Are you yourself being conditional in your expressions of love towards others?

How do you suppose you are really, truly coming across? How are you conveying your message and your point of view? What do your actions say? What are your words saying? Do your words come out clearly in your actions? What are your facial expressions conveying? How are you really communicating with other people?

What we give is usually very close to what we get! Which means that we have to start “owning the message” we give out to the world.

If we give a little love, we may get a little love, if we show a little acceptance, we may get a little acceptance, if we demonstrate a little gratitude, we may get a little gratitude, and so on an so forth. The same goes for not giving any of these things, if we do not give any, we can’t be upset about not getting any. Yet, our whole motive cannot be about giving it “only” so we can “get” it! That’s not being unconditionally loving and it won’t trick anyone for long.

Have you noticed how everybody loves being around people who know how to be unconditionally loving, and how those same loving people also seem to know how to respect and love themselves. Being an unconditionally loving person means we love without conditions, we are not expecting anything just because we are giving our love, but even so it still does NOT mean that we give our power away and take whatever we get and accept it!

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March 9th, 2010

The Law of Attraction Explained

To put it simply, what you truly believe… becomes!

According to the ‘Universal’ phenomena frequently referred to as The Law of Attraction your thoughts create your reality and you can influence your reality by the thoughts you think and believe.

There are three steps to this ‘Law’; Ask. Align and Allow:

1. ASK
Know what you want and actually ASK for it. Speak it out into the Universe. Focus on what it is you DO want and not on what you DON’T want. Be disciplined about where you are putting your FOCUS for whatever you focus on… grows!

2. ALIGN
This means to actually ALIGN your thoughts, feelings and actions on and to that which you want to attract. In my opinion this is the MOST important step yet it often receives the least attention. Without actual FOCUSED ACTION and Positive CHANGE on your part, what you wish to manifest in your life will have a hard time showing up. To get what you want you will have to actually DO something! Wishing and hoping entails no real creativity and will create nothing but more ‘wishing and hoping’, no creative creations get created without bold and creative actions.

3. ALLOW
Eliminate any resistance such as fear, doubt and worry and go into your KNOWING and KNOW that what you asked for IS going to happen for you. Notice any intuitive messages you receive, synchronicities and signs that show up to help guide you along the way to getting what it is you want. If you are ALIGNED in your beliefs and ACTIONS you are sure to receive what it is you want and manifest your dream into reality.

February 28th, 2010

Law of Attraction Quotes

“Every thought vibrates, every thought radiates a signal, and every thought attracts a matching signal back. We call that process the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction says: That which is like unto itself is drawn. And so, you might see the powerful Law of Attraction as a sort of Universal Manager that sees to it that all thoughts that match one another line up.”

From Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” – Buddha

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” – Buddha

“Law of attraction says that all your thoughts, all images in your mind, and all the feelings connected to your thoughts will later manifest as your reality. In other words; everything you have in your life – now – has been attracted to you thru your mind.”

From Global Oneness http://www.experiencefestival.com/law_of_attraction

“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” -Albert Einstein

“We are not onlookers peering into the unified field of separate, objective reality – we are the unified field. We can reach beyond the physical body and extend the influence of intelligence. Every thought you are thinking creates a wave in the unified field. It ripples through all the layers of intellect, mind, senses, and matter, spreading out in wider and wider circles. You are like a light radiating not photons but consciousness. As they radiate, your thoughts have an effect on everything. Your relationship to life is the same as that of one cell to your whole body. One cell can talk to your whole body. One cell can influence your whole body. You can talk to the whole of life – influence the whole of life. The whole of life is as alive as we are. The distinction between ‘in here’ and ‘out there’ is a false one – as if the heart disregarded the skin because it was not on the inside.” -Deepak Chopra

“You are a creator; you create with your every thought.You often create by default, for you are getting what you are giving your attention to wanted or unwanted but you know by how it feels if what you are getting (creating) is what you are wanting or if it is not what you are wanting. (Where is your attention focused?)” -Abraham Hicks

January 11th, 2010

My Absolute NO List for 2010.

Our 2009 holiday break was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed relaxing and reading, cooking and playing, and spending time with my precious husband and kids. My husband and I went on a few dates and reconnected yet again after several busy months in both of our careers, and all of us went on a family vacation together where we played in the snow and had an amazing time. We also met and dined with several good friends and in short, everything was all around awesome! So awesome in fact, that I’ve been having a hard time getting back into the groove of things. Taking it easy and reconnecting with family and friends, and with my own spirit has been so calming and soothing that I haven’t had the slightest urge to start ‘rushing’ into the year 2010. I was actually quite amazed at all the ‘business’ emails I received on January 1st!

Despite my inner serenity I am very excited about this year. I find it so fantastic and futuristic to get to be alive in the year twenty-ten! I’m here, NOW in 2010, watching a paradigm shift unfold before my eyes, as I and all of us are growing and evolving as spiritual beings on our human journeys. It’s all pretty darn exciting!

One of the books I read over the holiday break is a book by Cheryl Richardson called, The Art of Extreme Self-Care. I picked it out for a client, sensing it was somehow ‘the ideal’ book for that person but decided I would read it first before handing it over. As it often is with these seemingly ‘random’ things I ended up learning quite a bit about myself in the process, and am excited to get to share this simple and straightforward book with others.

The book helped me ‘get over’ any guilt I may have had about putting ME first and my personal goal or ‘resolution’ for this year is to take GOOD care of ME and hold onto this sense of serenity and balance and focus much of my attention on Health and Healing.

One of my favorite things from Cheryl’s book is The Absolute NO List, and I had fun coming up with my own Absolute NO List for 2010… and on.

Here are some examples from My Absolute NO List;

November 24th, 2009

Learning to let go…

For some people there comes a time where we feel as if we just want to dump all that weight we’ve been carrying around with us. Throughout our lives we all have a tendency to accumulate. Whether it is the accumulation of physical possessions or status, recognition and responsibilities, or skills, knowledge and wisdom, somehow, we all accumulate something. Then, for some of us, it is as if we one day wake up and discover that what we have chosen to accumulate is starting to really weigh us down. A happy and joyous future seems unfounded and distant due to the heavy burdens of our past and present. The ‘price’ we are paying for what we have always perceived as being important is becoming quite substantial, and perhaps it is costing us to miss out on other ‘accumulations’ such as peace, love, joy, health and happiness.

It is only when we realize that the ‘price’ we are paying has become too high that we find ourselves ready and willing to let go of what no longer serves us in our lives. We are willing to cut the chain of burdens.

Letting go of what was once ‘important’ enough for us to hold onto is not necessarily easy, which is why it often takes us quite a while to get to that ‘place of surrender’. We want to hold on for the longest time, fearing what will happen if we let go of what holds meaning to us. Some of us hold onto dysfunctional, disserving patterns and behaviors because we mistakenly choose to believe that some of it serves us. Yet, others hold on to blame and anger, perhaps because that means we get to be right and feel more righteous, and perhaps we are wanting to prove to ourselves that ‘we are not that ones who have to change’. Still others hold onto fights and battles, even the constant battle for perfection and perfect balance and harmony in ALL we do. Personally, I learned the hard way that trying to be perfect, and let alone be perfectly balanced in ALL I do is exactly what will throw a person off balance in the first place. Nobody can do it ALL, and let alone do it all perfectly. Letting go of that never-ending pursuit is in and of itself a divine blessing!

To let go of the various ‘stuff’ we hold onto and choosing to simply ‘surrender’ is one of the absolute best gifts that we can possibly give ourselves.