Archive for ‘LIFE’

February 15th, 2011

Are you a Victim or an Owner of your LIFE?

It is said that people fall into one of two categories when it comes to their approach to LIFE. You can either be a Victim or an Owner.

Many great authors have written several books on this topic, one being Steve Chandler.

So how do you spot an Owner and/or a Victim? And which category do you fall into?

Here are some clear distinctions between victims and owners:

  • Victims take no responsibility while Owners take full responsibility for their happiness and success in life.
  • Victims like to tell you their sad stories but Owners focus on success stories.
  • Victims talk about what happened to them in life and how that “made” them feel … Owners may tell you about their life experiences to emphasize what they’ve learned.
  • Victims complain and complain, and usually complain some more … Owners learn, and learn and learn some more.
  • Victims believe other people have control or are in control of their lives but Owners know they are in FULL control of theirs.
  • Victims are generally unhappy with where they are and how their lives are progressing but Owners are happy with where they are and where they’re headed.
  • Victims can make up and have many excuses for where, why and how they are while Owners do not use or buy into excuses.
  • Victims focus on all the things that can, and probably will go wrong… so why bother trying … while Owners focus on creative steps and solutions.
  • Victims REACT to whatever comes along, Owners use what happens to CREATE some more.
  • Victims come from a place of FEAR! … Owners come from a place of LOVE.

What is your choice? Fear or Love?

November 30th, 2010

Simplify your surroundings, simplify your life!

As a business owner, creative entrepreneur, wife and mother, I am intrigued by all methods and tools that help me, as well as my clients in living our authentic lives in balance and harmony.

I am all for mindfulness, living in the now, and enjoying life to the fullest, but let’s face it; everyday life in a busy world requires much more than the act of being present. Whether we like it or not we all have to think about our future, and plan it to some extent. Waking up, getting dressed, preparing meals, raising our children, cleaning the house, doing laundry, paying the bills, shopping for necessities, exercising, going to work, having a productive day, responding to our clients, and creating the groundwork for our next step in life and in business…. well, all this and more involves future-minded planning efforts.

As much as I love being in a simplified, clean, calm and organized home, getting it to that point, meaning the cleaning and tidying part, is not exactly on my top ten list of favorite things to do. I would not exactly label myself as a ‘domestic goddess’ and I would much rather be fully calm and present with a great book or even sit in front of the computer doing research, communicating with others, or writing about whatever, or simply goofing off and having fun with my kids, hiking, dancing and singing. But, since all those pleasantly creative and leisurely activities do not provide me with the surroundings I love living and creating in, I consciously choose to get off my butt every now and again and get to work on creating the environment of my dreams!

Although, my ego sometimes dreads the thought of cleaning and organizing, once I am “on it” I can’t help but feel energized by the creative power that starts flowing through me and from me. Not to mention the bliss I get from getting to live in the results of my labor. A simple surrounding helps my overly active mind calm down and be present and I feel more energetic and creative which positively affects all areas of my life. So, every now and again, the ‘domestic goddess’ has to be called upon to whip things into shape!

A crucial component to finding balance and calm in your home or workspace is committing to simplicity. When our spaces are cluttered, our minds are cluttered and we are bombarded with stimulating reminders of the things we ‘should’ be doing or ‘should’ get to, making it hard to focus on whatever it is we are doing in the moment. Getting your surroundings simplified and organized can do more for your emotional well-being than a long relaxing trip to an exotic island because you are creating an environment that affects you in your everyday life, meaning every single day!

As an interior designer I have witnessed people completely transform as their surroundings get transformed. By simplifying your surroundings, you are destined to simplify your life!

Once you have a system in place the actual work of keeping it that way is not so hard, although definitely just as important. Getting your surroundings organized in the first place is the part that requires most of the planning and effort.

In case you are interested in embarking upon a simplification journey here is my personal 7 step model to tackling such a project:

November 23rd, 2010

What we are looking for is “here”

THE RIDDLE OF HERE from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

November 20th, 2010

Hitting the START-button!

You might say that I have been in a bit of a funk lately… I have not been feeling very inspired as for what to write about. A writer’s block sounds odd to someone like me, who usually has a harder time shutting my brain off and my mouth up!

Then it hit me… stop waiting around for inspiration to hit you and just friggin’ START!

So here it is… a little experiment on this START-ing theory since at this starting point, I only have the vaguest idea of what it is that I am meant to share today…

I wonder how many things people put off because they are just not “feeling it” at the moment or feeling they do not yet have what it takes to get something done. How much time and effort is spent on gathering resources, doing research, reading books, and searching for inspiration and motivation when all that is really required is the simple effort of beginning?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”… the only real effort towards propelling yourself forward in life and in creating anything really, whatever that may be… is choosing to hit your own START button! Who cares if you do not exactly know where you are going? Who cares if you do not have the perfect roadmap, the exact plan, a thorough outline, or the final blueprint? Even the perfect plan was imperfect in the beginning, starting with a single line or a sentence; perhaps a statement of a dream!

I have learned that all successful people have one thing in common; they value active CREATION over active imagination… So they do not just sit around and think things over and over… they actually act on their ideas! Even when they have no idea on how to actually get something finished. If you do not start somewhere, you are essentially going nowhere… Sometimes it is just about starting, letting go and trusting your inner roadmap.

Within all of us lies the roadmap that takes us to our dreams.

September 21st, 2010

Children See – Children Do

There is no job more powerful than that of a Parent!

September 20th, 2010

There’s always MORE…

‘MORE’ from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

August 20th, 2010

Finding bliss…

“Misery is an indication that you are going astray, a natural indication that you have lost track of truth. Bliss simply says that you are falling in line with the whole. Things are becoming harmonious, the garden of the Beloved is coming closer: the air feels cooler, winds bring the fragrance of the flowers, freshness, a new thrill, a new enthusiasm. Then you are moving towards the garden of the Beloved. Maybe you cannot see yet, but the direction is right.
Sometimes it happens that you become one, in some rare moment. Watch the ocean, the tremendous wildness of it — and suddenly you forget your split, your schizophrenia; you relax. Or, moving in the Himalayas, seeing the virgin snow on the Himalaya peaks, suddenly a coolness surrounds you and you need not be false because there is no other human being to be false to. You fall together. Or, listening to beautiful music, you fall together. Whenever, in whatsoever situation, you become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss, surrounds you, arises in you. You feel fulfilled. There is no need to wait for these moments — these moments can become your natural life. These extraordinary moments can become ordinary moments — that is the whole effort of Zen.

Don’t wait for some great bliss to descend on you. It never happens. Great bliss is nothing but small pleasures accumulating in your being. The total of all the small pleasures is the great bliss. Eating, enjoy it. Drinking, enjoy it. Taking a bath, enjoy it. Walking, enjoy it. Such a beautiful world, such a beautiful morning, such beautiful clouds…what else do you need to celebrate? The sky full of stars…what more do you need to be prayerful? The sun rising from the east…what more do you need to bow down? And amidst a thousand and one thorns a small roseflower arises, opening its buds, so fragile, so vulnerable, yet so strong, so ready to fight with the wind, with the lightning, with the thunderings. Look at the courage…what more do you need to understand trust?”

~Osho

June 6th, 2010

We have the capacity to “manufacture” happiness.

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June 4th, 2010

Inspired by Iceland

I had to share… since I am and always have been Inspired by my home country, Iceland. Enjoy!

Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.

May 26th, 2010

Who are you “really” BE-ing? Are you the ‘odd one out’?

To some people, BE-ing comes easy. They simply know who they are and aren’t afraid to express it and BE it!  To the rest of us, “who I am at the ‘core of my being’” is something we seek, and explore, and eventually discover or grow into later on in life.  Then again, some of us never come out of our shells.  Some will spend so much time and attention on BE-ing who we ‘think’ we’re supposed to BE that we don’t make time to give who we ‘really’ are any specific thought or attention.

Every single one of us has been raised with some ‘conditioning’ and we learn how to act and ‘behave’, and how to ‘stay out of trouble’ and ‘get approval’.  Then as the years pass and we mature and grow into our independence we may choose to search and discover our ‘true’ identity?  Doesn’t everyone want to simply BE who we really are, and long for the strength and courage to effortlessly BE that, whatever that may BE?  I wonder…

Whether we give our ‘identity’ much conscious thought or not, I wouldn’t be surprised if most of us see ourselves quite differently from the way we’re perceived by others? Perhaps you’re the extrovert in your ‘clan’ but as much as there is the social, outspoken side to you there’s also the quiet, reflective persona that many, if not most, never get the honor of meeting. Maybe it is the other way around and you’re the quiet, humble and somewhat mysterious one on the outside, but within you dwells a dynamic performer longing to shine through ever so brightly.

Who are you really? And why are you here? And why in this specific point in time? If you could’ve chosen any other time in history, and chosen any other family, town and country to belong to, why would you have picked NOW as your time to show up and BE here? What is this all about? What are you here to do or who are you here to BE?

These types of questions have always been roaming around in my head (and soul).  A part of me was always quiet and observant, taking note of the life outside of me, noticing everyone else’s life stories while I was somewhat disconnected with my own.  In a way I didn’t feel like I truly belonged in my family, or in the neighborhoods we lived in or in the schools I went to, or even in the country I was born in.  I remember this lonely feeling of not ‘fitting in’ and almost feeling as if I’d been misplaced.  I didn’t get it.  I felt ‘weird’.  There had to be something ‘wrong’ with ME.  I loved my family, and loved my friends, neighbors and fellow countrymen but I absolutely felt like the ‘odd one out’.

Interestingly enough, I’ve learned to love being the ‘odd one out’ because that simply means that I’m BE-ing ME!  And, guess what!?  Every single one of us is unique and different.  I’ve had the pleasure and honor of meeting so many people, from all over the world who’ve talked about this same exact feeling of ‘not fitting in’ and being the ‘odd one out’.  I guess we’re all much more alike than we think we are:)

What if being ‘odd’ was the norm?  When are we going to fully embrace and nurture our amazing differences?  Life definitely wouldn’t be as interesting if we didn’t have all these different colors to observe and enjoy.  Even though our paths are different we’re all headed the same way.  We’re here to grow and evolve, and shine as brightly as we can while we’re here.  So here’s to BE-ing YOU!  Go out there and bravely BE the ‘odd one out’ and put YOUR colorful mark on the world!

Related Post: “Here’s to the “crazy” ones…”