“Misery is an indication that you are going astray, a natural indication that you have lost track of truth. Bliss simply says that you are falling in line with the whole. Things are becoming harmonious, the garden of the Beloved is coming closer: the air feels cooler, winds bring the fragrance of the flowers, freshness, a new thrill, a new enthusiasm. Then you are moving towards the garden of the Beloved. Maybe you cannot see yet, but the direction is right.
Sometimes it happens that you become one, in some rare moment. Watch the ocean, the tremendous wildness of it — and suddenly you forget your split, your schizophrenia; you relax. Or, moving in the Himalayas, seeing the virgin snow on the Himalaya peaks, suddenly a coolness surrounds you and you need not be false because there is no other human being to be false to. You fall together. Or, listening to beautiful music, you fall together. Whenever, in whatsoever situation, you become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss, surrounds you, arises in you. You feel fulfilled. There is no need to wait for these moments — these moments can become your natural life. These extraordinary moments can become ordinary moments — that is the whole effort of Zen.

Don’t wait for some great bliss to descend on you. It never happens. Great bliss is nothing but small pleasures accumulating in your being. The total of all the small pleasures is the great bliss. Eating, enjoy it. Drinking, enjoy it. Taking a bath, enjoy it. Walking, enjoy it. Such a beautiful world, such a beautiful morning, such beautiful clouds…what else do you need to celebrate? The sky full of stars…what more do you need to be prayerful? The sun rising from the east…what more do you need to bow down? And amidst a thousand and one thorns a small roseflower arises, opening its buds, so fragile, so vulnerable, yet so strong, so ready to fight with the wind, with the lightning, with the thunderings. Look at the courage…what more do you need to understand trust?”

~Osho

I had to share… since I am and always have been Inspired by my home country, Iceland. Enjoy!

Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.

To some people, BE-ing comes easy. They simply know who they are and aren’t afraid to express it and BE it!  To the rest of us, “who I am at the ‘core of my being’” is something we seek, and explore, and eventually discover or grow into later on in life.  Then again, some of us never come out of our shells.  Some will spend so much time and attention on BE-ing who we ‘think’ we’re supposed to BE that we don’t make time to give who we ‘really’ are any specific thought or attention.

Every single one of us has been raised with some ‘conditioning’ and we learn how to act and ‘behave’, and how to ‘stay out of trouble’ and ‘get approval’.  Then as the years pass and we mature and grow into our independence we may choose to search and discover our ‘true’ identity?  Doesn’t everyone want to simply BE who we really are, and long for the strength and courage to effortlessly BE that, whatever that may BE?  I wonder…

Whether we give our ‘identity’ much conscious thought or not, I wouldn’t be surprised if most of us see ourselves quite differently from the way we’re perceived by others? Perhaps you’re the extrovert in your ‘clan’ but as much as there is the social, outspoken side to you there’s also the quiet, reflective persona that many, if not most, never get the honor of meeting. Maybe it is the other way around and you’re the quiet, humble and somewhat mysterious one on the outside, but within you dwells a dynamic performer longing to shine through ever so brightly.

Who are you really? And why are you here? And why in this specific point in time? If you could’ve chosen any other time in history, and chosen any other family, town and country to belong to, why would you have picked NOW as your time to show up and BE here? What is this all about? What are you here to do or who are you here to BE?

These types of questions have always been roaming around in my head (and soul).  A part of me was always quiet and observant, taking note of the life outside of me, noticing everyone else’s life stories while I was somewhat disconnected with my own.  In a way I didn’t feel like I truly belonged in my family, or in the neighborhoods we lived in or in the schools I went to, or even in the country I was born in.  I remember this lonely feeling of not ‘fitting in’ and almost feeling as if I’d been misplaced.  I didn’t get it.  I felt ‘weird’.  There had to be something ‘wrong’ with ME.  I loved my family, and loved my friends, neighbors and fellow countrymen but I absolutely felt like the ‘odd one out’.

Interestingly enough, I’ve learned to love being the ‘odd one out’ because that simply means that I’m BE-ing ME!  And, guess what!?  Every single one of us is unique and different.  I’ve had the pleasure and honor of meeting so many people, from all over the world who’ve talked about this same exact feeling of ‘not fitting in’ and being the ‘odd one out’.  I guess we’re all much more alike than we think we are:)

What if being ‘odd’ was the norm?  When are we going to fully embrace and nurture our amazing differences?  Life definitely wouldn’t be as interesting if we didn’t have all these different colors to observe and enjoy.  Even though our paths are different we’re all headed the same way.  We’re here to grow and evolve, and shine as brightly as we can while we’re here.  So here’s to BE-ing YOU!  Go out there and bravely BE the ‘odd one out’ and put YOUR colorful mark on the world!

Related Post: “Here’s to the “crazy” ones…”

Lately, I’ve been on a detox diet, mainly for health reasons yet I’ve been catching myself getting excited about the pounds I’ve been losing in the process. I am by no means overweight and this should not even be a concern for me but given that the modern day unrealistic ’standards of beauty’ also meet my eyes from time to time, it is fascinating to note that as aware as I deem myself to be, I still get affected by the messages which repeatedly seem to say; “Thin is beautiful, and we can never be too thin”.

Not to worry, I am not obsessing about my weight in any way and I’m generally not that interested since I’m focused on being and feeling healthy… but… I am interested in ’self-awareness’ and ’self-acceptance’, and so it becomes fascinating to note how women are portrayed in modern day society, through the many channels of media, and even to note that these ‘ideals’ affect me as well, as much as I deem myself to be completely aware of these ‘illusions’. I truly wonder if anyone in today’s western society is 100% immune to comparing themselves to the ‘ideals of beauty’.

Today’s society recognizes all too well labels such as; anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorders, and body dysmorphic disorder. It is said that about 50% of girls between 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight! And, about 80% of 13 year olds have attempted to lose weight. Now that’s absolutely insane! How women see themselves is completely different from how men perceive their bodies. Only about 10-15% of people with eating disorders are men, the rest is women. For women, our perceptions of our amazing bodies are often all but healthy and realistic, and it seems the ‘ideals of beauty’ are getting more and more skewed with the prevalent use of ‘photo re-touch’ softwares and manipulation of any and all perceived flaws. The truth is that the women we see in the magazines don’t even get to look like the women in the magazines!

Anyways, enough with my ranting… I discovered this great article on Telegraph Online. The author’s perspective is interesting and puts our obsession with ‘youth and beauty’ in a fascinating light. I encourage all women (and men) to read this article. When you’re done reading you may want to take note of other ads and articles on the page, it drives home the overall point. Everything we see is a manipulation of our perceptions of ourself. We, the female version of mankind, spend SO much money just to feel good about ourselves and believe we LOOK GOOD so we’re a prime target for money makers. Yet, when it comes down to it, all we ever need is self-awareness and self-acceptance. That is the foundation of REAL LOVE, REAL beauty and everlasting happiness.

Check Out this Article: Women and Body Image: A Man’s Perspective

Related Post: Whatever Happened to REAL Beauty?

“I have a great time with my life and I want to share it!”

“Greatness is not this wonderful esoteric, elusive, God-like feature that only the special among us will ever taste. It is something that truly exists in all of us. It’s very simple. This is what I believe and I am willing to die for it.”

It is said that people fall into one of two categories when it comes to their approach to LIFE. You can either be a Victim or an Owner.

Many great authors have written several books on this topic, one being Steve Chandler.

So how do you spot an Owner and/or a Victim? And which category do you fall into?

Here are some clear distinctions between victims and owners:

• Victims take no responsibility while Owners take full responsibility for their happiness and success in life.
• Victims like to tell you their sad stories but Owners focus on success stories.
• Victims talk about what happened to them in life and how that “made” them feel … Owners may tell you about their life experiences to emphasize what they’ve learned.
• Victims complain and complain, and usually complain some more … Owners learn, and learn and learn some more.
• Victims believe other people have control or are in control of their lives but Owners know they are in FULL control of theirs.
• Victims are generally unhappy with where they are and how their lives are progressing but Owners are happy with where they are and where they’re headed.
• Victims can make up and have many excuses for where, why and how they are while Owners do not use or buy into excuses.
• Victims focus on all the things that can, and probably will go wrong… so why bother trying … while Owners focus on creative steps and solutions.
• Victims REACT to whatever comes along, Owners use what happens to CREATE some more.
• Victims come from a place of FEAR! … Owners come from a place of LOVE.

What is your choice? Fear or Love?

Sometimes we are so utterly out of tune with ourselves and our true needs. I have been experiencing restlessness, rush and perceived pressure in the past few weeks as I’m finding myself wanting to create so many things at the same time and wanting to impact so many people, that I end up forgetting about myself in the process. I start to ignore my body, mind and spirit and push my well-being off of my “Top 10 List of Priorities”.

In order to truly move forward we so often forget that the real trick is to S L O W down! When one travels at 100 miles an hour to nowhere the end destination is always a crash and burn.

The interesting part about our daily stresses and pressure is that in one way or another it is 100% created by our selves or in fact, our egos. This is somewhat encouraging to realize because it means that I, and YOU can just as well un-create whatever perception it is we created. Your ego created the mess, stress and pressure (or in some cases calm) that you are in at any given moment by placing itself in a story about what, who and how you are and are supposed to be. Our minds (egos) place meaning into tasks, things and thoughts that enter our existence and it is essentially our choice if we believe those perceptions or not. The I, who created the perceived mess that I’m in can choose to step outside of the turmoil, see it for what it really is (a created reality or perception) and choose to part with it and redesign my reality in a way that better serves me.

In my life, in this very moment this means that I will choose to slow down and place my health and wellbeing at the top of my list of priorities which includes creating time to prepare and enjoy nutritious foods, exercise, simplify my surroundings and do what I know will soothe my mind and spirit. What soothes my mind and my spirit is getting back to and being in alignment with my values and creating time to do what I enjoy the most which is reading and writing, and being with my children.

So what do you have on your “Top 10 List of Priorities”, and how can you restructure and redesign your life so your list of priorities will truly honor and serve you in your life?

This amazing video of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in my home country Iceland was made by Sean Stiegemeier. Check it out!

Iceland, Eyjafjallajökull – May 1st and 2nd, 2010 from Sean Stiegemeier on Vimeo.

Source: http://vimeo.com/11673745

The following thirteen (13) aspects are typical for people who are in successful and healthy relationships:

People in Healthy Relationships…

1. Show appreciation, affection and gratitude to one another.
2. Welcome each other after time apart and show interest in hearing about the other’s day and activities.
3. Typically respond to one another’s verbal and non-verbal communications.
4. Can work cooperatively together on projects.
5. Go out together (outings, activities, entertainment, socializing).
6. Share life chores together (housework, meal prep, bills, childrearing etc).
7. Value most of each other’s choices and decisions and can respectfully talk about their differences.
8. Share and discuss their dreams and aspirations, and find shared values and meaning.
9. Review, share and talk about events in their shared and personal history.
10. Take pleasure in meeting each other’s needs for intimacy, passion and commitment.
11. Talk openly about their physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs.
12. Wish to stay together and keep enjoying their union and partnership.
13. Want happiness together and for one another.

If all of these pointers apply to your relationship you are definitely on to something absolutely amazing!

If quite a few of these pointers do not apply to your relationship, it may be time to give it some extra attention. Instead of putting your attention on how the other person is “showing up” in the relationship it may be of an even greater value to explore and notice how YOU are “showing up”. Are you being the best there is of you? Are you being the person you like to be?

Most relationship predicaments are rooted in unrealistic expectations and lack of open and loving communication. Any attitudes and beliefs based on; “I’m not good enough” and/or “You’re not good enough” will impair your happiness potential in any and all relationships whether it’s your relationships with other people or the relationship you have with yourself.

For advice on ‘rekindling’ relationships, check out the following article:

Seven Steps to Rekindling and Creating an Open and Loving Relationship