It is said that people fall into one of two categories when it comes to their approach to LIFE. You can either be a Victim or an Owner.

Many great authors have written several books on this topic, one being Steve Chandler.

So how do you spot an Owner and/or a Victim? And which category do you fall into?

Here are some clear distinctions between victims and owners:

• Victims take no responsibility while Owners take full responsibility for their happiness and success in life.
• Victims like to tell you their sad stories but Owners focus on success stories.
• Victims talk about what happened to them in life and how that “made” them feel … Owners may tell you about their life experiences to emphasize what they’ve learned.
• Victims complain and complain, and usually complain some more … Owners learn, and learn and learn some more.
• Victims believe other people have control or are in control of their lives but Owners know they are in FULL control of theirs.
• Victims are generally unhappy with where they are and how their lives are progressing but Owners are happy with where they are and where they’re headed.
• Victims can make up and have many excuses for where, why and how they are while Owners do not use or buy into excuses.
• Victims focus on all the things that can, and probably will go wrong… so why bother trying … while Owners focus on creative steps and solutions.
• Victims REACT to whatever comes along, Owners use what happens to CREATE some more.
• Victims come from a place of FEAR! … Owners come from a place of LOVE.

What is your choice? Fear or Love?

As a business owner, creative entrepreneur, wife and mother, I am intrigued by all methods and tools that help me, as well as my clients in living our authentic lives in balance and harmony.

I am all for mindfulness, living in the now, and enjoying life to the fullest, but let’s face it; everyday life in a busy world requires much more than the act of being present. Whether we like it or not we all have to think about our future, and plan it to some extent. Waking up, getting dressed, preparing meals, raising our children, cleaning the house, doing laundry, paying the bills, shopping for necessities, exercising, going to work, having a productive day, responding to our clients, and creating the groundwork for our next step in life and in business…. well, all this and more involves future-minded planning efforts.

As much as I love being in a simplified, clean, calm and organized home, getting it to that point, meaning the cleaning and tidying part, is not exactly on my top ten list of favorite things to do. I would not exactly label myself as a ‘domestic goddess’ and I would much rather be fully calm and present with a great book or even sit in front of the computer doing research, communicating with others, or writing about whatever, or simply goofing off and having fun with my kids, hiking, dancing and singing. But, since all those pleasantly creative and leisurely activities do not provide me with the surroundings I love living and creating in, I consciously choose to get off my butt every now and again and get to work on creating the environment of my dreams!

Although, my ego sometimes dreads the thought of cleaning and organizing, once I am “on it” I can’t help but feel energized by the creative power that starts flowing through me and from me. Not to mention the bliss I get from getting to live in the results of my labor. A simple surrounding helps my overly active mind calm down and be present and I feel more energetic and creative which positively affects all areas of my life. So, every now and again, the ‘domestic goddess’ has to be called upon to whip things into shape!

A crucial component to finding balance and calm in your home or workspace is committing to simplicity. When our spaces are cluttered, our minds are cluttered and we are bombarded with stimulating reminders of the things we ‘should’ be doing or ‘should’ get to, making it hard to focus on whatever it is we are doing in the moment. Getting your surroundings simplified and organized can do more for your emotional well-being than a long relaxing trip to an exotic island because you are creating an environment that affects you in your everyday life, meaning every single day!

As an interior designer I have witnessed people completely transform as their surroundings get transformed. By simplifying your surroundings, you are destined to simplify your life!

Once you have a system in place the actual work of keeping it that way is not so hard, although definitely just as important. Getting your surroundings organized in the first place is the part that requires most of the planning and effort.

In case you are interested in embarking upon a simplification journey here is my personal 7 step model to tackling such a project:

1. Create an action plan. List out the rooms or areas that you want to have organized and write out some goals for the spaces. State what you want to achieve and how you will feel when you have achieved just that. Start with the most important room or area, predetermine the order that follows and work ONLY on one space at a time.

2. Commit to the process. Rome was not built in a day! Acknowledge that it is consistency with the small things that makes the biggest impact. Many small changes will create a BIG change. Just keep at it, commit to the process, one thing at a time and do not give up!

3. Get real with your time and decide how much time you can truly commit to doing the work. Whether it is a half hour a day or a couple of hours every few days, just make that time your “on it” time. Chances are you will get an even bigger ‘time reality check’ and get more skillful with your time management if you time yourself with a timer. We can learn a lot about how long things take to complete and how much we can get done in a certain amount of time if we apply a timing exercise. If you only have 15 minutes a day to work on organizing your spaces, then set the timer and use up those 15 minutes each and every day, one room at a time. Within a week or a month you will see an enormous difference and all it took was 15 minutes a day!

4. Make it fun. Setting the timer and treating this like a fun race can be lots of fun, and putting on some great music and singing and dancing while you are at it can make tidying and cleaning an extremely enjoyable experience!

5. Organize with these three steps in mind:
a. Sort and Purge. Get rid of everything that is unnecessary. Sort like things with like things. Only keep what you need and use on a regular basis. If you have not used something for more than 2 years, chances of you ever needing it again are very slim. Remember that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure so make sure to donate all useable items, and do not add to yet another landfill for no good reason.
b. Create zones and homes. When a “thing” has a home to go to at the end of the day it is much easier to keep things simplified and organized. Use logical systems such as placing ‘like with like’, storing things in areas you are most likely to use them, placing frequently used things within easy reach while seldom used items can move to harder to reach storage spaces, placing heavy stuff at the bottom, and lighter on top, storing things in appropriate containers, and just label, label, label.
c. Customize to make it fit YOU. Make your organization system work for the way YOU work and just be realistic with it. Research some organizational systems and invest in the right storage system and containers for YOU but only after you know exactly what you intend to do with it and how you intend to use it. Otherwise, you may just be adding containers and stuff to the clutter instead of actually organizing it.

6. Celebrate the Outcome. Make sure to value your accomplishment and celebrate the simplified surrounding. You just created a fresh start!

7. Maintain, maintain, maintain. It is easy to forget to ‘keep at it’ once the system is in place but maintaining is the most crucial aspect of living a simplified life in a simplified surrounding.
a. Create an action plan of how you are going to maintain the order and calmness. Do a daily/weekly/monthly action plan of things to tackle, such as sorting through the junk drawer & pantry once a month, sorting letters and filing important papers once a week, doing a 15 minute sweep-through each day etc.
b. Commit to the process. Just keep at it, clean and organize as you go, every little action makes a difference; it is consistency with the small things that makes the BIG impact.
c. Get real with your time and make it fun. The 15 minutes a day “laundry basket exercise” is immensely effective. It entails briskly walking through your spaces with a basket to grab all things that are out of place and then taking them back to their ‘homes’, perhaps while also blasting your favorite music or using the exercise to have a fun race with your kids, seeing who can pick up the most toys and stuff or clear a room the quickest.
d. Use the trip. This is a simple, little, mindful technique that I personally use to simplify my efforts and maximizing my ‘trips’. It entails doing a short, little peak-over the room that I am in when I am off getting something or doing something to see if there is anything in the room that does not belong there and lives in an area I might be going back to or passing by on my way to where it is I am going next. The simple act of being ‘mindful and noticing’ can save you a lot of time and help you prevent the buildup of clutter in the first place.

As contradictory as it may sound after such an outline of ‘how-to’s’ it is also important to not get over-consumed with organization and feel as if you have to keep everything ‘perfect’ all the time. ‘Stuff happens’ and it can actually happen quite quickly. We all have different preferences for aesthetics and different tolerances for clutter in our surroundings, and we all operate differently. Personally, I may be on the somewhat extreme end of the spectrum in that I simply love complete simplicity and would like nothing more than to have a totally clear and calm house and office with every little thing out of sight and in its place. But, the truth is that this is contradictory to how I actually operate which is often moving quickly from one thing to the next, not wrapping up the last thing I was working on before I am off floating along with my creative power, capturing my latest idea while it is with me. In addition to my creative philosopher-artist personality I also share a home with two active and creative kids who can move very quickly and go from one project and experiment to the next one so clutter can actually accumulate quite quickly in our home. And, since it is my conscious choice to be a pretty laid back mom, I do not allow myself get bent out of shape about every little thing that is out of place. Hence, our commitment is to stick to our system of consistently cleaning up after ourselves ‘after the fact’. As a result, the 15 minute ‘laundry basket exercise’ is a regular exercise at our house and those 15 minutes can literally create a major transformation! Mere 15 minutes a day is usually all the time needed to put everything back in its place. The thing is that when we have no more stuff than we actually use and need, and every little ‘thing’ has a ‘home’, it is really no big deal to have it all go out of its place for a while because the system you’ve created ensures that putting it back in its place again will be fast and easy!

With mindfulness, creativity and commitment you can easily create simplicity, balance and calmness in your surroundings and in your life. Then, all that is left is sitting down in your beautiful, serene place with a warm cup of tea and an awesome book… and just enjoy!

THE RIDDLE OF HERE from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

You might say that I have been in a bit of a funk lately… I have not been feeling very inspired as for what to write about. A writer’s block sounds odd to someone like me, who usually has a harder time shutting my brain off and my mouth up!

Then it hit me… stop waiting around for inspiration to hit you and just friggin’ START!

So here it is… a little experiment on this START-ing theory since at this starting point, I only have the vaguest idea of what it is that I am meant to share today…

I wonder how many things people put off because they are just not “feeling it” at the moment or feeling they do not yet have what it takes to get something done. How much time and effort is spent on gathering resources, doing research, reading books, and searching for inspiration and motivation when all that is really required is the simple effort of beginning?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”… the only real effort towards propelling yourself forward in life and in creating anything really, whatever that may be… is choosing to hit your own START button! Who cares if you do not exactly know where you are going? Who cares if you do not have the perfect roadmap, the exact plan, a thorough outline, or the final blueprint? Even the perfect plan was imperfect in the beginning, starting with a single line or a sentence; perhaps a statement of a dream!

I have learned that all successful people have one thing in common; they value active CREATION over active imagination… So they do not just sit around and think things over and over… they actually act on their ideas! Even when they have no idea on how to actually get something finished. If you do not start somewhere, you are essentially going nowhere… Sometimes it is just about starting, letting go and trusting your inner roadmap.

Within all of us lies the roadmap that takes us to our dreams. My dream life is pretty much the life I am living, coaching a few clients at a time, helping them (and me) grow and evolve in life, then spending the rest of my time loving and nurturing my beautiful family and doing what I love doing, one being the act of writing. Now, this is what we can call a statement of my dream life! But, in order to live that dream life I can’t spend my days thinking it over and over, waiting for inspiration to hit me… I have to actually create it… just start and trust that I will find my way because what I am seeking is already seeking me…

Is there anything that YOU want to create in your life that you are not creating as of now? Are there topics and things you keep exploring, researching, and gathering resources for but have yet to do and take into ACTION mode? Perhaps it is time for YOU to take out that pen and paper and see what comes out when you allow your body to be a tool for your higher self. What occurs when you express your true self’s desires… What answers show up to the questions: What do I want to CREATE in life? And, What is my dream life?

Your inner roadmap is in place, you were born with it, and the only time you truly feel lost is when you are simply not moving at all!

To find the inspiration to truly move forwards; start dreaming!

When your dream is clear to you it can be quite easy to hit that START-button even though you still may not know all the How To’s. Just take that first step and… go for it!

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” ~ Goethe

And, herein, ends this experiment on what it is like to hit the START button without having a set plan in place… and LOOK!! I just completed a posting:)

There is no job more powerful than that of a Parent!

‘MORE’ from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

“Misery is an indication that you are going astray, a natural indication that you have lost track of truth. Bliss simply says that you are falling in line with the whole. Things are becoming harmonious, the garden of the Beloved is coming closer: the air feels cooler, winds bring the fragrance of the flowers, freshness, a new thrill, a new enthusiasm. Then you are moving towards the garden of the Beloved. Maybe you cannot see yet, but the direction is right.
Sometimes it happens that you become one, in some rare moment. Watch the ocean, the tremendous wildness of it — and suddenly you forget your split, your schizophrenia; you relax. Or, moving in the Himalayas, seeing the virgin snow on the Himalaya peaks, suddenly a coolness surrounds you and you need not be false because there is no other human being to be false to. You fall together. Or, listening to beautiful music, you fall together. Whenever, in whatsoever situation, you become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss, surrounds you, arises in you. You feel fulfilled. There is no need to wait for these moments — these moments can become your natural life. These extraordinary moments can become ordinary moments — that is the whole effort of Zen.

Don’t wait for some great bliss to descend on you. It never happens. Great bliss is nothing but small pleasures accumulating in your being. The total of all the small pleasures is the great bliss. Eating, enjoy it. Drinking, enjoy it. Taking a bath, enjoy it. Walking, enjoy it. Such a beautiful world, such a beautiful morning, such beautiful clouds…what else do you need to celebrate? The sky full of stars…what more do you need to be prayerful? The sun rising from the east…what more do you need to bow down? And amidst a thousand and one thorns a small roseflower arises, opening its buds, so fragile, so vulnerable, yet so strong, so ready to fight with the wind, with the lightning, with the thunderings. Look at the courage…what more do you need to understand trust?”

~Osho

I had to share… since I am and always have been Inspired by my home country, Iceland. Enjoy!

Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.

To some people, BE-ing comes easy. They simply know who they are and aren’t afraid to express it and BE it!  To the rest of us, “who I am at the ‘core of my being’” is something we seek, and explore, and eventually discover or grow into later on in life.  Then again, some of us never come out of our shells.  Some will spend so much time and attention on BE-ing who we ‘think’ we’re supposed to BE that we don’t make time to give who we ‘really’ are any specific thought or attention.

Every single one of us has been raised with some ‘conditioning’ and we learn how to act and ‘behave’, and how to ‘stay out of trouble’ and ‘get approval’.  Then as the years pass and we mature and grow into our independence we may choose to search and discover our ‘true’ identity?  Doesn’t everyone want to simply BE who we really are, and long for the strength and courage to effortlessly BE that, whatever that may BE?  I wonder…

Whether we give our ‘identity’ much conscious thought or not, I wouldn’t be surprised if most of us see ourselves quite differently from the way we’re perceived by others? Perhaps you’re the extrovert in your ‘clan’ but as much as there is the social, outspoken side to you there’s also the quiet, reflective persona that many, if not most, never get the honor of meeting. Maybe it is the other way around and you’re the quiet, humble and somewhat mysterious one on the outside, but within you dwells a dynamic performer longing to shine through ever so brightly.

Who are you really? And why are you here? And why in this specific point in time? If you could’ve chosen any other time in history, and chosen any other family, town and country to belong to, why would you have picked NOW as your time to show up and BE here? What is this all about? What are you here to do or who are you here to BE?

These types of questions have always been roaming around in my head (and soul).  A part of me was always quiet and observant, taking note of the life outside of me, noticing everyone else’s life stories while I was somewhat disconnected with my own.  In a way I didn’t feel like I truly belonged in my family, or in the neighborhoods we lived in or in the schools I went to, or even in the country I was born in.  I remember this lonely feeling of not ‘fitting in’ and almost feeling as if I’d been misplaced.  I didn’t get it.  I felt ‘weird’.  There had to be something ‘wrong’ with ME.  I loved my family, and loved my friends, neighbors and fellow countrymen but I absolutely felt like the ‘odd one out’.

Interestingly enough, I’ve learned to love being the ‘odd one out’ because that simply means that I’m BE-ing ME!  And, guess what!?  Every single one of us is unique and different.  I’ve had the pleasure and honor of meeting so many people, from all over the world who’ve talked about this same exact feeling of ‘not fitting in’ and being the ‘odd one out’.  I guess we’re all much more alike than we think we are:)

What if being ‘odd’ was the norm?  When are we going to fully embrace and nurture our amazing differences?  Life definitely wouldn’t be as interesting if we didn’t have all these different colors to observe and enjoy.  Even though our paths are different we’re all headed the same way.  We’re here to grow and evolve, and shine as brightly as we can while we’re here.  So here’s to BE-ing YOU!  Go out there and bravely BE the ‘odd one out’ and put YOUR colorful mark on the world!

Related Post: “Here’s to the “crazy” ones…”