So here’s my story…
After 12 years in the beautiful Arizona desert I have moved back ‘home’ to Iceland. It is the place I’ve always called ‘home’ even though my house and home have been in Arizona for a large chunk of my adult life. Arizona is the place in which I went to school and received my bachelors and masters degrees, started my companies, had my children, made some of my greatest friends and in any way possible, ‘found’ myself and discovered who I really am.
After 12 years, Arizona had become a ‘home’ to me and it was a place in which I was in my ‘comfort zone’ and I knew pretty well what my days would bring. I have a great job in Arizona as a coach and amazing, wonderful clients and it was a bit surreal to one day have to plug myself out of that ‘reality’ and plug myself into a new one.
There’s been A LOT going on in my life these past few weeks so I haven’t been posting much. It all started with my husband being approached and asked if he were interested in exploring a job opportunity in Iceland. We didn’t see ourselves moving back just yet but we had said to each other (and to the Universe) that we were open to ‘change’ and open to a new adventure. I guess you have to be careful what you wish for:) Then, sort of like out of the blue this Iceland job comes up and he was very interested in the job itself and said Yes to exploring it, thinking one shouldn’t exclude things and it was good to look into opportunities for we could always say No if we ended up not being interested.
To make a long story short, he was offered the job and felt he simply had to accept it for it was something he really wanted to do, and of course I wanted him to follow his heart. So, as the decision was made, we packed up our whole ‘lives’ in just a few weeks, sold many of our belongings and loaded the rest into a container and boarded a one-way flight to Iceland!
We just landed here yesterday and for me this whole thing is still so odd for I sort of feel like I’m here for a visit, just like I always do. The fact that I’m here to stay is still pretty darn weird to grasp! Iceland has changed a lot in the past 12 years and everything feels different yet in a way, still the same and so familiar.
I’m pretty excited about this adventure that we’re in for and can’t wait to re-experience my amazing home country through my children’s eyes who are both born in Arizona and have only been here for a visit. For them this is a BIG change for they are literally leaving ‘Life’ – as they know it! They are saying goodbye to the house they were brought up in, and to their school, their teachers and school-buddies and to our ‘chosen family’ and to all of the friends they’ve grown up with.
I realize that all of this looks different through their eyes and I’ve tried to really prepare them for this by keeping them as aware and involved in the process as possible, at least for little kids to comprehend, and I am still amazed at how calm and non-chalant they’ve been about this whole thing. It’s like they somehow ‘know’ that this is mean to be. My daughter who’s 7 has shed a few tears for the friends she’ll miss and for the cat we left behind with friends of ours but she’s been quick to sort of ‘deal’ with everything and has been great about focusing on the ‘positives’ of this move which to her are grandma, grandpa and all the cousins but mostly this; “In Iceland, I can walk to school by myself, go to the store and to a play-park by myself and play outside all the time!” (She’s a very independent little person:))
So, here we are, in the country of the ever-changing light, and while everyone is fast asleep at 3am in the morning, I’m up again and wide-awake for my body is like “excuse me, woman, it’s 8pm in the evening and you just had a nice, long nap but shouldn’t be sleeping for the night just yet”.
We’re staying with my mother for a few days until the furnished place we rented becomes available and then we’ll start looking for a more permanent living arrangement as our ‘home’ makes it’s trip across the US and then sails across the ocean to meet us here in Iceland in a few weeks.
As ‘normal’ and familiar as this country is to me, there is nothing ‘normal’ and familiar about our lives right now. It’s a little odd being in ‘The Gap’ yet I’m excited about what the future holds. We were meant to come back ‘home’. I don’t really believe in coincidences and this whole process has been amazingly fast and quick yet so smooth, and easy and somehow ‘led and guided’. All we had to do was say YES to ‘change’ and to new opportunities and here we are! We’re the same people we were yesterday but now in a completely different location on the planet. Everything is different yet everything’s the same….for wherever you go… there YOU are!
Who are you “really” BE-ing? Are you the ‘odd one out’?
Every single one of us has been raised with some ‘conditioning’ and we learn how to act and ‘behave’, and how to ‘stay out of trouble’ and ‘get approval’. Then as the years pass and we mature and grow into our independence we may choose to search and discover our ‘true’ identity? Doesn’t everyone want to simply BE who we really are, and long for the strength and courage to effortlessly BE that, whatever that may BE? I wonder…
Whether we give our ‘identity’ much conscious thought or not, I wouldn’t be surprised if most of us see ourselves quite differently from the way we’re perceived by others? Perhaps you’re the extrovert in your ‘clan’ but as much as there is the social, outspoken side to you there’s also the quiet, reflective persona that many, if not most, never get the honor of meeting. Maybe it is the other way around and you’re the quiet, humble and somewhat mysterious one on the outside, but within you dwells a dynamic performer longing to shine through ever so brightly.
Who are you really? And why are you here? And why in this specific point in time? If you could’ve chosen any other time in history, and chosen any other family, town and country to belong to, why would you have picked NOW as your time to show up and BE here? What is this all about? What are you here to do or who are you here to BE?
These types of questions have always been roaming around in my head (and soul). A part of me was always quiet and observant, taking note of the life outside of me, noticing everyone else’s life stories while I was somewhat disconnected with my own. In a way I didn’t feel like I truly belonged in my family, or in the neighborhoods we lived in or in the schools I went to, or even in the country I was born in. I remember this lonely feeling of not ‘fitting in’ and almost feeling as if I’d been misplaced. I didn’t get it. I felt ‘weird’. There had to be something ‘wrong’ with ME. I loved my family, and loved my friends, neighbors and fellow countrymen but I absolutely felt like the ‘odd one out’.
Interestingly enough, I’ve learned to love being the ‘odd one out’ because that simply means that I’m BE-ing ME! And, guess what!? Every single one of us is unique and different. I’ve had the pleasure and honor of meeting so many people, from all over the world who’ve talked about this same exact feeling of ‘not fitting in’ and being the ‘odd one out’. I guess we’re all much more alike than we think we are:)
What if being ‘odd’ was the norm? When are we going to fully embrace and nurture our amazing differences? Life definitely wouldn’t be as interesting if we didn’t have all these different colors to observe and enjoy. Even though our paths are different we’re all headed the same way. We’re here to grow and evolve, and shine as brightly as we can while we’re here. So here’s to BE-ing YOU! Go out there and bravely BE the ‘odd one out’ and put YOUR colorful mark on the world!
Related Post: “Here’s to the “crazy” ones…”
Posted in Designing ME, MY Life, Personal Growth and Development, Social Commentary | 2 Comments »