October 6th, 2010
Why do we play ‘small’ and how do we live BIG?
In my line of work I am privileged to have quite a few people come into my life that absolutely WOW me with their gifts and talents. When I hear people talk about their ideas, goals, dreams and aspirations I can literally feel how their spirit comes alive and I too get all fired up for there is nothing more energizing than witnessing someone ‘being in Spirit’. Being that I too am a creative being I love being able to assist my clients in brainstorming and conceptualizing and getting to support people in playful creativity. There can be so much fun and excitement in the air when people fearlessly visualize their beautiful future which only seems to scream; Potential, Joy, Power and Creativity!
Yet, when the time comes to get REAL with the ideas and strategize on implementation steps people sometimes tend to step down from that fearless launching pad to Greatness and begin scaling down their dreams and aspirations. They literally feel overwhelmed by their own magic and power and start playing much smaller… just to be safe. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea”, “The economy isn’t so great, perhaps now isn’t a good time”, “What if I can’t do it!?”, “If only I had more time and/or money” , “What will other people think?” and so on and so forth. Endless thoughts of limitations show up which can almost automatically nudge people towards a smaller state of mind. This is of course where my service comes in handy and I get to play out my role fullblown as a Transformatonal Life Coach. A great Life Coach can usually guide his or her clients around and then above and beyond perceived limitations and assist them in stepping back into their Greatness. But, not everyone has a personal life coach that can meet them in the exact moment that “little me” shows up. When the doubtful voices of the ego show up we feel uncomfortable, and truth be told, we really don’t like feeling uncomfortable! So, we either run away from those feelings or choose to set them aside and play a safer ‘game’, perhaps believing we can always step into our Greatness some other time. We allow our egos to move towards temporary comfort and let “little me” have its way scaling down all of our hopes and dreams. At least then we won’t feel so overwhelmed and we won’t run the risk of living with disappointment, or worse, disappointing someone else!
But somewhere in there “BIG YOU” will keep on calling and by living your life as “little me” you will never be as fulfilled and happy as you can be. So the cycle continues… but how do we stop it?
The number one reason to why people fail to live BIG is not because they lack knowledge, talent or resources but simply because they quit! Quitting is often experienced as ‘less’ than failure, and therefore a more comfortable feeling because if we don’t even try, how can we possibly fail!? Winners never quit! Accept that setbacks are a given. See every obstacle as a test for you to discover a creative detour, there really are no dead ends. Winners are simply ‘losers’ who still kept on going!
A typical reason to why people avoid living BIG is because we want to be loved, whether that means being liked and accepted or “fitting in” in some way. If we play it ‘small’ we don’t draw a whole lot of attention to ourselves and we don’t run the risk of being judged and critizised… hence the payoff is that we get to avoid the unpleasantness of feeling un-loved. Accept that not everyone has to like you, and realize that all great minds/inventors/creators and the like have at some point been judged and critizised. Living BIG makes people pay attention and notice and not everyone may appreciate you being bold enough to step into your Greatness for it simply is a reminder that they too can step into their own Greatness. They just don’t want to be reminded. Many people are stuck in their “small me” comfort zone and you playing a bigger game is a nudge to them to step out of that comfort zone. They would rather see everyone else stay there with them. Realize that those are the ones who may judge and critizise. Play BIG regardless! Dr. Seuss may have said if best when he said; “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Another common reason to why people fail to live BIG is because they focus on the BIG-ness or on the ‘Grand Finale’ but not on the joyful journey that gets you there. Instead of breaking their Grand Goal up into several managable goals and steps they see it as one enormous mountain to climb and not several smaller hills, and in focusing on feelings of overwhelm people paralize themselves from taking creative action. In order to avoid the uncomfortble feeling of overwhelm people often choose to… yes, you guessed it QUIT, and they usually do so before they’ve taken any major steps towards reaching their goals. The truth is that just getting started means you’re already halfway there! Someone once told me, “Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon!” Do not allow yourself to feel like you have to get there and get everything done all at once and in record time! Just keep going… simply keep taking one small step after the other. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.
People who truly live BIG know and appreciate that ‘work’ is always required because ‘Rome simply wasn’t built in a day!’. Good things come to those who persist! If you are continually persistent and focused in your efforts and continually work on resisting limiting thoughts and behaviors you are destined to reach what you are aiming for. Winners never wait for things to happen, they make things happen!
People who live BIG keep it simple and are real with what they want. If you try to chase ten jumping rabbits all at once, you’ll catch none, but if you go for just one, you will catch it, 100% guaranteed! Then, you can go after the next one, and then the next one… and before you know it, you will have caught all ten! Dicipline is focus in action. Success really is no rocket science… know what you want, focus on it and create steps to get there.
People who live BIG believe in themselves and they do so by choice! They choose to believe they CAN accomplish what they want to accomplish and know they CAN make their dreams come true. They believe they are the owners of their lives and accept full responsibility for their actions and outcome. Nobody else is to blame. They are never victims to outside circumstances. Outside circumstances may sometimes create detours but are never dead ends. Nothing can hold you back as long as you hold on to your convictions and keep creating focused action.
BIG YOU is calling…. are you listening? Is it time to play a BIGGER game?
July 16th, 2010
Inspired by Iceland – Viggo Mortensen
Whatever he says is all true for ME too… this is why I’m so excited to be moving back to Iceland…
Viggo Mortensen is inspired by Iceland from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.
May 13th, 2010
Thirteen Characteristics of Healthy and Successful Relationships
The following thirteen (13) aspects are typical for people who are in successful and healthy relationships:
People in Healthy Relationships…
1. Show appreciation, affection and gratitude to one another.
2. Welcome each other after time apart and show interest in hearing about the other’s day and activities.
3. Typically respond to one another’s verbal and non-verbal communications.
4. Can work cooperatively together on projects.
5. Go out together (outings, activities, entertainment, socializing).
6. Share life chores together (housework, meal prep, bills, childrearing etc).
7. Value most of each other’s choices and decisions and can respectfully talk about their differences.
8. Share and discuss their dreams and aspirations, and find shared values and meaning.
9. Review, share and talk about events in their shared and personal history.
10. Take pleasure in meeting each other’s needs for intimacy, passion and commitment.
11. Talk openly about their physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs.
12. Wish to stay together and keep enjoying their union and partnership.
13. Want happiness together and for one another.
If all of these pointers apply to your relationship you are definitely on to something absolutely amazing!
If quite a few of these pointers do not apply to your relationship, it may be time to give it some extra attention. Instead of putting your attention on how the other person is “showing up” in the relationship it may be of an even greater value to explore and notice how YOU are “showing up”. Are you being the best there is of you? Are you being the person you like to be?
Most relationship predicaments are rooted in unrealistic expectations and lack of open and loving communication. Any attitudes and beliefs based on; “I’m not good enough” and/or “You’re not good enough” will impair your happiness potential in any and all relationships whether it’s your relationships with other people or the relationship you have with yourself.
For advice on ‘rekindling’ relationships, check out the following article:
Seven Steps to Rekindling and Creating an Open and Loving Relationship
April 14th, 2010
What is Nirvana?
All suffering comes from wrong perceptions.
“The practice of mediations and of ‘looking deeply’ has the purpose of removing wrong perceptions from us.”
“If we are able to remove our wrong perceptions we will be able to be free from the the afflictions and suffering that always arrive from wrong perceptions.”
“Nirvana is FREEDOM! Feedom from VIEWS. All views are wrong views.”
June 10th, 2009
Powerful Creator of Your Reality
YOU are the POWERFUL CREATOR of YOUR REALITY!!!
Your reality today is the result of an accumulation of past choices, whether consciously or subconsciously created. Other people’s choices will always remain beyond your control, and events will inevitably take place in our lives that we have no control over… but we can always choose HOW we respond, and HOW we react, and we can choose to use any and all obstacles as opportunities to grow and evolve and CREATE a new reality.
The way I see it, when it comes to life, you have two choices; either you CREATE what you want into existence or you wait around and REACT to what hits you.
Which choice do you want to make?
Unfortunately, LIFE does not come with an actual manual, at least not one that we can read black on white. However, there is sort of an imprinted version of a manual resting in your higher self, above the ego and its stories. It sometimes shows up as a little voice inside of you, some sort of an all-knowing YOU that reminds you when you are doing what you want to be doing and being who you want to be. It is the YOU that is happy and fulfilled without having to receive anything external or materialistic to be that way.
When you exercise your “presence muscle” you are able to get in touch with that higher self, the part of you that is calm, and present, thankful, open, loving and peaceful. Simply by paying attention to your life and exercising awareness.
At any given moment you can be that person, but only if you set your ego aside and choose to pay attention to your life.
So what does the POWERFUL CREATOR want to create in life? How will we know unless we ask our higher self that question… If you want to get to know YOU some more, the authentic REAL YOU… then answering the following questions will be helpful.
What do I REALLY want in my life?
What am I REALLY wanting to achieve?
What do I want to CREATE in my life?
WHO do I want to BE?
When you discover the answers to these questions you can start defining the answers, i.e. writing out what the results would look like, for example, “I want to be a good parent”… Now, ask yourself What does it mean to be a good parent? What does that look like?
When you ponder what is the REAL goal and define what that looks like it will be much easier to create that into existence.
Then, each and every day you can take a few moments to consciously pay attention to WHO you are BEING and remind yourself of Who it is you REALLY Want to BE because who you are being in the NOW is who you become tomorrow.
Joy and Light,
Maja
June 4th, 2009
45 Lessons from life by Regina Brett 90 yrs. old.
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled
over to 90 in August, so here goes:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. Love your parents because they will be gone before you know it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry
13. Don’t compare your life to others’.. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
